Reflectionist Baz's Blog

I found your position on the continent/
You were frozen in the arctic circle/
You just can’t tell your real feelings/
From the ones that have been cast far from these shores/
As if once they were exposed the ice would melt/
You were drowning in the blue ocean/
But managed to find time to weave a tale/
In between breaths of love and trust/
Of lust and lies/
Now I see through you without even trying/
I turned my back on your disguise/
Quicken my body with a false sense of security/
It’s just another reminder of my past/
How do you feel now that I’ve stopped loving you?/
Back then I romanticized your intentions/
So many inventions of your mind that continue to fill up the shelf/
I would just fill in the blanks of your silence/
Project onto self the love that was never felt/
And watch you like a life line/
Sparked a rift, a division of bodies/
I fought so hard to stop the hole from bleeding/
But the liquid memories fell through my hands/
This battlefield of a continent was just the world we created/
You cast the first stone into the water/
And witnessed me breaking/
Without fixture, without mend/
Is this really the end?//

Written by Baz
5th Jan 2010

If you can take just one last thing with you
As your soul leaves your body at last
I just don’t want to die alone
And if that’s too much to ask
Dim my eyesight, coat my ears in glass
For all that I’ve seen and all that I’ve believed
Faulters in your very presence
I’ll take the seeds I’ve sown and the weeds
That have grown from my grave
You do your best to leave out the past
Do your best to carry on
After you carried me down into the depths of hell
And waited for your fate to take the date
Off the calendar of your resented memories
I’m going to want some answers when I die
And I know that what lies ahead is
Nothing compared to what I’ve been through
Alive alone
together forever
Untrue you
heart severed
And you know what lies ahead
Is to be the worst you’ve been through

Written by Baz
Dec 15th 2009

Fullscreen

Completely Redrawn from scratch. Used Black Charcoal as well as White Charcoal this time. Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse in the music video “The Whale Song.” My new fav for sure!

Waiting for change?/
Waiting for me to change?/
I’m just waiting for an excuse/
Waiting for you to speak the truth/
Your feeble attempts at some sort of new you/
This isn’t positive and it won’t be the last negative/
So tired always tired/
Exhausted my heart and skin just waiting for change again/
I’m waiting for you to move out of my life/
So I can rearrange and/
Maybe redeem some of my tries/
Presence of people not for me/
Just waiting for your shadow to haunt my asylum dreams/
You haunt me/
This sinking feeling/
A chained ball fused to my legs/
Will I ever wake up?/
Will I ever see you?/
Will I never wake up?/
I can’t see you…/
Caught in a vice/
My back to the wall/
If I had a choice/
I wouldn’t have met you at all/
So I won’t keep paying the price/
But that’s what you get when you open your dimming heart up/
Here’s your reward for losing my trust/
No more//

Written by Baz
Nov 26th 2009

Another Isaac Brock pic I drew, one of my favorites.

Fullscreen

My fist picture I drew of Isaac Brock, white charcoal on black posterboard. Pat Graham snapped this shot at the Bumbershoot ‘09 show that I went to so I had to draw it. Sorry the quality is not that good, had to use digital camera to take a pic, this thing is waaay too big to scan.