[Infinite Time]
By: Baz
[Chapter 01: Seclusion]
Upon reading the last words of his late wife’s final letter to him, Akrest wasn’t sure how to feel. The letter must’ve been written about a month before her passing, for it mentioned an argument he recalls them having. Akrest Maeda was 32 years old, had blue eyes and a rough chiseled look about him. His chin was square, his arms bulky and too big for his frame. He bore many tattoos, a cluster of tree branches on his left bicep, a star where his watch should be on his left arm. Etched upon the back of his neck was a peculiar symbol representing infinite time with an hourglass shape with an infinity symbol around its waist.
There were many more tattoos on his legs and a large black and grey tattoo of an anchor covering his entire back. He was an artist of many mediums; drawing, painting, writing, creating music, and sculpting. He acquired all of these necessary burdens at a young age when his mother, a single parent, drifted from lover to lover and location to location. Never having a solid foundation to build social skills on, he would instead immerse himself in his imagination. Very unusual things spawned in his mind; strange creatures, magical worlds, and unique characters became his own mythology after a while. Before he knew it these fantasies began materializing in the real, cold world through drawings and sculptures. It was as if he was only a chronologist to his imagination, painting their world into reality. He watched them grow old as he himself went through a tough life.
Before he knew it here he stood alone and hopeless. His wife died of coronary heart disease and if he didn’t pick himself out of this depression he would soon follow her. He had not left his apartment in weeks and had no real urge to. Her letter to him wasn’t a positive one. It marked the end of their marriage, the end of happiness. Their relationship strained soon after she was diagnosed one year prior to today. Akrest remembered when her doctor told her vividly. They had gone to the doctor to find out if they could have a child together. In a period of five years of marriage, they still made love often and led happy lives together. They did a full blown set of tests on them, for neither of them had been to the doctor’s in well over ten years.
“I have some unfortunate news, Mrs. Maeda,” the doctor said, the sentence that no one awaiting results of a doctor’s visit wanted to hear. “upon testing we discovered your arteries are abnormally narrow. It is very likely that you have coronary heart disease. We’d like to do a few more tests to determine how far along the disease is and what treatments will ensure a speedy recovery.”
The weight of the bad news would not only crush their marriage, but end her life as well. From that moment on, Akrest knew they were in for nothing but dark days. Her disease would be confirmed in subsequent tests and in retrospect; Akrest realized that this would be the last time they would feel like they were in love. The stress of her condition mixed with potent drugs and more tests and longer stays at the hospital estranged their marriage faster than either of them realized.
There were so many tears he had shed over her that he found himself drained. He gave up his life of close friends so they could build a future together. Now that he knew she was dying at that point, his feelings would soon falter underneath all of the pain and loneliness to come. When she was well enough to come home most of the time it was negative. They would feed on each other’s stress, lashing out at the other from all of the pain and confusion they found themselves sinking in. Akrest could not recall the last time they made love or any other positive connection at all during her last months of living.
There was a saved voicemail on his cell that he refused to delete. She called him the night before her death.
“Hey Akrest, it’s Agate,” her weak voice forced him to listen closely. “I just want you to know that I love you and I’m sorry for taking you down this path in life. You deserve so much more and I don’t want this experience to make you jaded or anything. I wish for you to remember all the good times we’ve had and all of the happiness we created. Never forget me, I will be with you always.”
The voicemail always lifted his spirits a bit each time he listened to it. Having been a technology geek, he had recorded it onto his computer through VOIP and backed it up to his email accounts and servers. He didn’t have a need for a cellphone any more as she was pretty much the only person who called him. He had a few friends that he talked to occasionally but the conversations became less involved and less exciting over the years. Akrest was shocked that any of them even bothered to try and talk to him. He had chosen Agate over them and left plenty of bad blood between them.
The funeral and the wake was densely populated with various friends and family of the deceased and widow. Akrest recognized his mother and his sister amongst the solemn people. The service paid great respects to her and what she had accomplished in life. Being a straight “A” student and valedictorian of her class, opening her own flower shop in the middle of the city, and her various accomplishments over the years were spoken. Akrest hardly knew much about her family, let alone her friends, and he didn’t care too. He wasn’t a people person and that became very apparent when he spoke her eulogy.
Comprised of copying and pasting various bits and pieces from an internet search for famous eulogies, the speech was inconsistent and had no effect on the grievers. Stopping midway through the speech, it finally hit him that she was really dead. His whole train of thought was derailed instantly and he burst in tears. He angrily threw the podium over, the speakers emitting a sharp ear-piercing sound of microphone to speaker feedback. He kicked at the podium on the stage and proceeded to look at the crowd, his face red and a steady stream of tears trickled down his cheeks and dropped from his jawbone to the stage floor.
“What the fuck do you people want from me?” he belted out, “Would you stop looking at me, just stop!”
It was apparent that he was in a frenzy, his speech became less and less coherent as he scolded everyone. His anxiety accrued faster than a rocket launching from a rocket launcher at an unlucky foe. His chest was noticeably pulsating up and down as he tried to breathe and as soon as the outburst occurred, he was unconscious on the ground in a second later. The shocked crowd looked at each other in awe and Akrest’s mother ran up to his shaking body.
∞∞∞
[Akrest]
I remembered being at the funeral in front of all these strangers. Their glances intercepted all of my thoughts as I stumbled through the eulogy I was reading. This speech wasn’t mine; I had hurriedly pasted together a horrible mash up of various famous eulogies and speeches. One of my greatest fears was public speaking, and the fact that I was speaking to a lot of friends and family of hers and mine that wanted me dead only increased the fear. Then something took hold of me, it was almost like someone thrust a searing hot fireplace poker into the base of my sweating spine.
Intense hatred I had never experienced having frothed out of my mouth like thick, black, and bubbling tar.
“What the fuck do you people want from me?” I screamed, “Would you stop looking at me, just stop!”
I had no idea where it came from and after destroying the podium I hit the floor and woke in a completely different world stark naked. I was lying in a field of beautiful chrysanthemums, dandelions, and lilies. White light filled my vision as I saw my wife come towards me from the skies, it was a spectacular sight. I could’ve sworn I saw white feathered wings behind her shining figure as she floated to me like an angel from above. As soon as we embraced, she let out a soft moan as I entered her. It had never felt so natural and so good as it did in this dreamy world of bright flowers and blue skies.
I laid my face in between her soft breasts and smelled the familiar scent of her sugary perfume. Gently kissing her cleavage and suckling on her tender, rose-colored nipples I felt her tighten around my penis. She began to tremble and shifted her weight back as held the back of her neck and entered her entirely. This all felt strange and erotic at the same time, I knew it couldn’t be real but I didn’t care. I needed this more now than ever before. I couldn’t get enough of her and she expressed it as well.
In the aftermath of the intercourse, my mind switched back on and I began to wonder just what my sub-conscious was telling me. I was never that sexual, never really had any desire to procreate or get off. Was I just scratching the surface on who I really am? We caught our breath as we lay side-by-side and trembled together. I didn’t want this feeling to end, I didn’t want to wake up. I couldn’t face the world without her, my current reclusive behavior more affirmation to the notion.
“Agate?” I whispered to her.
“Don’t question this, just enjoy the moment.” She spoke with warm sun-kissed words.
I always thought of summer when I heard her nostalgic voice, my prepubescent days of adventure in the backyard. The iced tea after an exhausting day of playing with friends, the sunburns that kept me awake at night. I missed those short-lived days before all of the bullshit and abuse. Come to think of it, I don’t know if I ever experienced as much intense happiness throughout my life as I did then.
I turned to look at Agate and my eyelids closed before I could speak again. I was out cold.
